Happy Birthday Hope!!

Best wishes for an awesome 19th year and second semester!!

Lots of love,

Geek in the Pink

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who is thankful! (2012 Edition)

This year I am thankful for:

• Being a student at Cornell. I love it there. I can't even explain how much I love it there. Sure there are flaws but I still wouldn't want to go to school anywhere else. 
• The Hotel School. Because it's the best major ever in the best school ever period end of story everyone else can go home now bye.
• My parents, for paying for me to be a student at Cornell. And for everything else they do to support me and keep me happy. Like my mom redid my bathroom while I was gone and it looks great, my dad's still out working hard to pay for my ridiculous tuition bills...they're great. It's also easier to like them when I'm not living with them, honestly.
• Sterling (if he ever reads this he better appreciate the awesome codename :P). He's one of my closest friends at school, and I'm thankful for him because he's exactly the kind of person I need in my life right now. When I'm just sitting on his bed doing homework while he's at his desk playing video games, I feel safe. 
• Griffles, Jean, Gordon, and all the other people that I hang out in the D4 lounge and watch movies with. They're just good people and I really like spending time with them. 
• Actually most of the people on my floor/building. I'm thankful that I live in a great dorm with so many warm people that became my friends so quickly. I'm thankful they turned my dorm into a home.
• Jana, Meg, Andy, and Jan. Hotelie friends are the best :). 
• Sal, Mickey, Fred, Jack, and Keith. I'm thankful both that they're all the same and that they've all changed since being at college. Hanging out with them yesterday was surreal because on one level, they're the same geeks who talk MTG and LoL that I knew back in August. But on another, they've all matured a lot, got a little more worldly experience (Fred mentioned being at a party?! I mean what?!), and I think it made them all better friends. I had a blast swapping stories and telling jokes and laughing with them. AND JACK EVEN GAVE ME A HUG BACK!!! I mean that's when you KNOW college has been good to him xD. As much as I hate visiting Cheshire, it's a lot better to know that I have these awesome guys still here.
• Devon and Sahi for writing me letters while I was at college, and for being outstanding human beings in general. And giving awesome hugs when I visited them at UConn :D
• Brownie. He wrote me a letter before I left for college and I was just rereading it since being home and it's making me all weepy again. He's great.
• I'm pretty thankful that Colleen isn't crazy or weird in any way. Her only flaw is that her overwhelming perfection is destroying my self-esteem, but that's not really her fault. She's still nice to me and is a good roommate and I'm really, really lucky for that. 
• Shuo, my awesome standard dance partner. He's reliable and he's improved a lot this semester and I appreciate him.
• Lucky, my awesome Salsa partner. He's a great dancer and a great friend and I'm just glad he exists.
• Everyone else on ballroom team that's been teaching us. They're just awesome.
• My job! It's frustrating and gross sometimes but I'm glad to be employed, especially in a department with so many great people. 
• My laptop. Once you go Mac you never go back, baby!!
• My education. I've learned so much this semester and it's all so incredibly useful. 
• My special skills and everyone who's taught them to me. I'm a damn good chef, dancer, waitress, pianist, singer, archer, video game player, writer, fencer (maybe still?), and event planner, and all of that is because someone awesome taught me a skill at one point. So thank you to all of those people. 
• Mrs. Yamamoto because she helped me get a 5 on the AP Lit exam which exempts me from a Freshman Writing Seminar at Cornell <3 li="li" nbsp="nbsp">
• Yoga pants. I think every girl needs to take a second once a year to be thankful for yoga pants.
• You, of course! Every blogger is thankful for her readers! 

I think that's about all I can think of right now. I'll add more if I think of more. Stay lovely, everyone!

*: "Mademoiselle Noir" by Peppina

**: "After The Storm" by Mumford and Sons

The Axiomatic Musings of a Hotelie.

Cornell is beautiful, and lovely, full of friendly people, and I love it here. I'll probably cry more leaving here than I did leaving 'home'. My friends are awesome, my classes are interesting, and the food is FANTASTIC. There are people here that I actually have stuff in common with.


I hope all my other friends reading this are having fun moving in too, I'll try to keep up with you guys on twitter :).

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who's going to sleep in her bed for the last time for a few months.

Am I an emotional wreck right now? Yes would be an understatement. This post is going to be pretty all over-the-place but so is my mind right now.

I don't understand this. I don't like this town, I don't like most of it's people, the thought of Cornell has made me euphoric for months...the only way to explain this is fricking graduation goggles.

For those of you not familiar with the How I Met Your Mother episode, "The Exploding Meatball Sub", 'graduation goggles' is a term for that feeling you get when a horrible experience is ending and then suddenly you look at it with these magical goggles that somehow distort it and make everything seem better than it actually was. Kind of similar to Stockholm syndrome, I guess.

I won't miss the town, or the boredom, or the high school. I'll miss my brook, my privacy, and a few of my teachers. And goodness knows I'll miss my friends.

Hold on I have to set a reminder for myself or I'll leave my retainer at home.

I feel like I should have done some epic stuff in my last few days and I didn't really, I just spent time with my friends doing what we do best and I think that was exactly what I needed. Like, Keith made fun of me so I poured a water bottle on his head, because that's what we do. Ash and I played Halo and ate candy because that's what we do. Huck (oh, you guys don't know Huck...he's awesome. That's the best way to describe him, just awesome in every way) came over and I cooked dinner then he played guitar, because that's what we do. Devon and I watched Very Mary Kate videos and laughed because that's what we do. Sal and I took a walk, laughed a lot, and hugged a lot. Because that's what we, as friends, still do.

Well shit now I'm thinking about all the awesome people in my life and how I'm not going to see any of them until like, December. Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit.

That's another thing I realized, I tend to curse like a sailor when I start to cry because I hate crying. Just a fun fact.

Just to elaborate quickly on Huck because I kinda just threw him in there...I knew him for months because he was in the musical but we didn't really start being close until we spent most of a summer party just sitting and talking. He's easy to talk to and in a word, interesting. He's cute, has lots of cool talents, he's really sweet, he's smart, and he makes me laugh. One of those people I just clicked with and so we started hanging out more. And by more I mean twice, and now I'm leaving. WOO.

I'm getting through this by telling myself that there will be more awesome and interesting people to click with on Friday and they'll all be living down the hall from me all year. Which is entirely true. I'll make it.

It's incredibly annoying that I finally made girlfriends just in time to leave them, too. Reggie and Hilary and Solay better clear their schedules for winter break because I don't care how fricking cold it is we're going on a reunion froyo spree and that's that.

Devon and I are kind of used to communicating mostly online so I guess that's okay. I'll just miss his laugh :/.

I'm so freaking grateful Keith will only be an hour away in Rochester.

Sal. Sal Sal Sal Sal Sal Sal Sal Sal.

FuckingshitgoddammitshitdamnshitshitshitshitTITSIFUCKINGHATECRYINGDAMMIT

Pardon mon francais, je pleure. Ca c'est difficile.

It's just really hard to be safely snuggled in the chest of your best friend feeling all warm and safe while his arms are around you one minute and be waving 'bye' the next. But I'm not the only person to have to deal with that and I'm sure it would be even worse if we were still together. I should be handling this better. Honestly Lia, I don't know how you guys did it but I have even more respect for you now that I understand what it's like. You deserve some sort of award.

I'm sure in a couple days I'll post again saying how happy I am at Cornell and how much I love it there but right now this is a rough night and I should probably go to sleep.

I don't want to be judged, and I won't be.
I don't think I'm strong enough, but I am.
I'm scared, but I shouldn't be.
I have all the weapons I need--
Time to fight.

♪: "The Great Escape" by Boys Like Girls
♫: "This Ain't Goodbye" by Train

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who is going through the best breakup ever.

I know, I know, that sounds sick. Just because it isn't so bad doesn't mean it's good. Like saying you have the best flu ever. Maybe your fever is only 101 instead of 104 like last time but it still sucks.

Sal and I's romantic relationship is now over. Does it suck? Sure. Next time I see him I'll have to break my habit of the 'Oh hi sweetheart! *kiss!*' thing and that'll be a hard habit to kick after almost a year. But this is still going surprisingly well, because we basically took all the factors that make break-ups suckish and eliminated them. For example:

Why Break-Ups Usually Suck: The sudden unexpected nature of it. One minute you're happy in a relationship, the next you're kicked on your ass and alone and you never saw any of it coming.
Why That Isn't The Case Now: This has been the plan since we started officially dating back in September. We knew it was happening so we made the most of our time together. Thursday we went to his grandparents' beach house and spent the day enjoying each other's company and laughing and singing in the car and appreciating each other because we knew time was short. It was a perfect grand finale :). Being mentally prepared helped a lot.

Why Break-Ups Usually Suck: Things left unfinished or unsaid. Like that song "What Hurts the Most" or whatever :P.
Why That Isn't The Case Now: Again, because we knew it was coming, we made sure we finished everything we had planned to. We spent tons of time in his pool, we learned how to do the Marshall-Lily-Over-Head-High-Five, we went to the beach, we went on our bike ride to Hamden...Everything we said at the beginning of summer we'd do, we did. Same goes for saying what we needed to say. We had a really great talk where we reminded each other how we felt about each other, reminisced over memories, all that stuff. We didn't hold anything back and that left me feeling much better about everything now.

Why Break-Ups Usually Suck: Wondering what you could have done differently, what you could have changed, what you did wrong, why you weren't ____ enough, etc etc.
Why That Isn't The Case Now: This was simply the only option that made sense for us, and we both knew it. Neither one was to blame, it's just the circumstance and we have to deal with that. Neither of us could have or would have done anything differently, and we both know how highly we think of each other, so there's no reason for either of us to feel unworthy or wrong or like we messed up. He was a fantastic boyfriend to me and I'd like to think I wasn't half bad for him either. We made each other as happy as we could. This is just how the cookie crumbled and that's no one's fault.

Why Break-Ups Usually Suck: Having to adjust to the lack of cuddles and kisses and affection. Not automatically having plans every weekend by default.
Why That Isn't The Case Now: ...Okay admittedly that is the case now and it kinda sucks :/. At least soon I'll be overwhelmed with plans with my new college friends? 12 days!

Why Break-Ups Usually Suck: Uncertainty about the future, feeling suddenly like there's no one there for you and you have to face the future on your own.
Why That Isn't The Case Now: PSHHHH if he thinks he can get rid of me that easily he's got another thing coming! ;) We know we're still going to be friends, we know we'll still talk a lot and hang out when we're home on break, we know we'll never truly expel each other. We've gone from a couple to a couple of great friends before and it worked out then, we know it'll work out now and we both want that. To be honest, I need to keep him around. There's no one else who knows me quite like he does and will always be honest like he will even when I don't always want to hear it. I hope he knows I'll always do the same for him, too :). Sal and I aren't over, our romantic relationship is.

So that's why this isn't so bad. We've watched enough Seinfeld (like what, 6 seasons worth? He's got all 10 seasons on DVD xD) to know that exes can still be close friends and hilarious comedy partners. We already have Fred whose code last name might as well be Costanza (if you knew both of those then you'd be laughing right now) so we'll be set :). Even if it's not the best situation, it's the best solution. I wouldn't change a thing and when it comes down to it, that's really all that counts.

♪ (YAYYY SYMBOLS WORK ON MY MAC): "Some Nights" by fun.
♫: "No Rain" by Blind Melon

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who's in a kind of difficult place in the summer right now.

Story time!

Once upon a time there was a little girl. She lived in the beautiful and humid city of Brisbane, Australia, with her sister, brothers, and parents. Her mother was an artist who maintained the stereotypical homemaker role of her time, and her father had a PhD in physiology and lectured at the local university.
Fast-forward. The girl is now a woman who lives in the busy city of Sydney. She is smart, beautiful, fit, and single; although she has been in several serious relationships before, she is picky and has not yet chosen a husband although she is in her mid-late 30's. She has traveled the world, mostly on trips she has won because of her superior sales skills at Yellow Pages. She has many friends and lives nearby her sister. One day, she is sitting at a cafe when a man asks to sit at her table, and begins to chat with her. He is American, on a business trip to Sydney. The two talk and get along very well. She is intelligent, he is charming. They begin to date. She makes few trips to his small house in the Northeast part of the USA and he makes a few to Australia before the topic of marriage arises. The woman realizes that between her choosy nature and biological clock, her options are running thin. This charming American man is kind, interested in her, handsome, and has a steady enough job working for an electricity company in rural Connecticut. She has fallen for him and for once won't let her head talk her out of yet another relationship--and thus agrees to marry him.
Therein, however, lay the problem. Where exactly would they start their life together? The man had a house, a job, and his tightly-knit Polish family in Connecticut, and refused to leave each and all of them. The woman had a choice: leave her promising and lucrative sales career, her small house, her family, her country and her lifestyle...or leave him. She thought of her future child, and believed in the States that the child would have better opportunities for an education and career. And so she packed up her life, sold her house for the best price she could get on short notice, and moved from the bustling city of Sydney to a small town in a small state with hope and a ring.
Time passed and soon she did get the child she had already sacrificed a great deal for: a bouncing baby girl. She had what she wanted and her new life seemed to be going well. Unfortunately it wasn't long until rose-colored glasses began to wear off. The best sales job she could get was an hour's commute which left little time to spend with her daughter. American food was much higher in fat than the fresh seafood she was accustomed to and her figure soon saw the effect. Her in-laws seemed to resent her more and more for reasons she didn't understand and made her feel less and less welcome as time went on. The American man became less charming and more impatient. The woman thought of leaving and taking her daughter with her back home to where people were kinder and life made more sense, but was afraid of how the absence of a father figure might affect her baby girl. And so she stayed.
Five years into the daughter's schooling, the woman quit her job. She was infuriated by how much more time her daughter spent at Aftercare than at home and quit to become a stay-at-home-mom. This left the American man as the sole provider for the small family, and with that the woman gave up what little control she had left over her own life. She was now dependent on this man and he didn't let her forget it.
Frustrated by the lack of control she had, the woman turned her attention to her daughter. All of it. Her sole goal was to raise her daughter to not make the same mistakes that she did. Meanwhile, it also gave her an outlet: Although she had no more control or opportunities for change in her life, she had both in her daughter's. Time and money were invested in dance lessons, piano lessons, fencing lessons, anything that could give the girl skills and a future. Serious emphasis was placed on success in school. Pretty good and decent effort were unacceptable--"Don't be an "it'll do-er", be a "just right-er"". And the girl did succeed, frequently earning very good grades while keeping up with her extra-curricular activities, and her parents were very proud. Due to the constant parental attention, she became very mature very quickly. So mature that the woman would talk to her daughter as an equal, drilling life advice like, "always stay financially independent, no matter what" from a young age. The girl understood anyway. She saw her parents fight and knew that wasn't what she wanted.
The attention had its negatives, too. The woman had harsh rules about junk food, bed time, and socializing with friends. The girl wasn't allowed to drink soda, or sleep over her friends' houses. Bed time was strictly enforced through even the first two years of high school. The girl was warned to watch what she ate, because when the woman was an adolescent she gained weight that was harder to lose as an adult, and the woman refused to let her daughter repeat any of her misfortunes. The girl understood more and more how important it was to keep mommy happy.
It put a lot of pressure on the small girl. Although she knew daddy was the fun parent that bought her whatever she wanted, he was rarely around. Mommy was strict and mean, but she was also the one that would pick her up from school if she got sick and make sure she got all the hugs she needed to feel better. Soon enough the girl reached adolescence and began to question both of her parents. Why did dad think he could be rude and disrespectful to mommy just because he earned money and she didn't? Why did mom insist on enforcing the most pointless rules if not for simply a power trip? She began to realize that neither of them were superheroes and she began to resent both for how they treated each other and herself. But of course, this isn't about the little girl.
Now, the woman is much older. Her husband could care less about anything but his daughter and his boat. Her daughter, although well-adjusted and headed to a good college, frequently points out the flaws in her parenting and is resentful, impatient, and questioning towards her: the obedience that was second-nature in childhood has backfired completely. She is generally disliked by her family and can't seem to amend the qualities that make her so. She has a few friends but doesn't spend much time with them. She barely paints since she quit her art classes to save money for her daughter's college fund. She has numerous health problems, mostly stemming from stress. Skype and e-mail keep her and her daughter in contact with her family, although she only sees them once every 4 or 5 years. She is frustrated and unhappy, and consequently lashes out frequently at her daughter, who lashes back and starts the vicious cycle over. Sometimes when the two aren't fighting, the woman retells her daughter the story of how her life came to be like this, and reminds the girl to do better than that for herself. She reminds the girl of Australia and travel and how happiness is out there and she wants nothing else except for the girl to find it. She reminds the girl that better things are out there.











And that's why I can't marry Sal.

No matter how much I love him and how happy we are now, I've learned enough from my mom to know that two different people with two different goals in life can't both be happy in the long run. Sal and I have an expiration date coming up in the next few weeks that we both know and understand. It's better to part as friends now than struggle through a long-distance relationship through college and end up resenting each other in a few more decades. We'll stay close forever, I know that much. He'll be at my wedding, he just won't be the one standing next to me.

If for no other reason than I can't let my son or daughter 40 years from now to be writing a blog post like this one.

I think the best thing I can do for my mom at this point to make up for everything is to have a good life. So she knows she did something right, and everything she went/goes through isn't totally in vain. I owe her that much.

The End.

[Also, sorry this was pretty depressing. All the thought of Sal and I and our lack of future has just been getting to me and I had to sort it all out. Writing this helped a lot. When I think about it, despite all this stuff my mom is still going so it can't be all bad. Please keep this on the down-low for a while. I'm only posting it here because I expect that anyone who reads this would understand where I'm coming from. I don't need rumors flying around with people who wouldn't get it. I might end up deleting this soon anyway so read quick. Anyway I'm going to bed now, hopefully anyone reading this is having a great summer. I am, I'll post more of an update blog in a little while. Until then, stay lovely.]

*: "Some Nights" by Fun.

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who knows an awesome person with a birthday today!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LIA!!!!


And now to celebrate, here is a gif of a dancing cat.

Hope you have an awesome day!! :D